I did my 2009 taxes yesterday and guess what? I didn’t owe this year!!!

Thank you, Uncle Sam, for raping me sufficiently throughout the entire year.

I’m sorry. That sounds completely inappropriate; and I’m not talking about the use of the word “rape,” but the incest part.

Also, I’m practicing using semicolons. I’m sure I’m misusing them roughly 47.32% of the time but hang in there. Practice makes perfect, right? Well, that and the use of a grammar check, which I don’t use.

WWJD? Well, I’d tell you what Jesus wouldn’t do. Jesus wouldn’t be a lazy bastard and not write his posts in Microsoft Word first so that he could do a grammar and spell check before posting to his blog.

ANYWAYS.

Every year I get my taxes done the only thing I worry about is whether or not I have to write an additional tax check for more than $119. I mean, I’m already paying $180 just for the tax preparing service. I think I’m okay with paying $299, but anything more than $300 and I start to think of all the other cool shit I could be buying instead.

The point is, I never usually look at the amount of taxes I’ve already had withheld. But, I took note of it this year. Now, I don’t make a ton of money but I paid a good chunk of change to the government last year. And by my rough calculations of the tax collected from the people on my block alone . . .

How the fuck are our federal and state governments as broke as they are?

And that’s just income tax.

[note: I wrote this post at 10:12pm on 4/14 to be posted on 4/15, but I'm retarded and hit the Publish button. Enh. Too late.]

I have a 8gb media card in my phone which I basically use as my iPod (because I’m broke and stubborn and if I buy an iPod I want to buy an iPhone which I won’t buy because I don’t want to switch to AT&T).

I’m forever switching the music out of my phone because I have musical A.D.D. This means that I’m usually always working on a new mix tape containing roughly 800 songs.

So far, I have 150 songs gathered up. And do you know what kinds of songs I mostly have on here?

Love songs. Sappy, heartbreaking, lonely, or even happy ones.

Really? What the fuck for?

Raych, are you in love? No.

Well, did someone break your heart? Unh-unh.

You see, every once in a while I like to torture myself and become sad and depressed with either songs of love lost or songs of happily in love because I remind myself that I don’t have it. I’m calling this the SHOOT ME NOW mix tape.

Whatever. Buttercup is all the unconditional love I need.

Any suggestions? All genres work for me.

I hate having to register my vehicles once a year. HATE. I, of course, waited last minute to take care of it again this year. It’s due in two days.

“No problem,” I thought. “I’ll just pay it online. Easy peasy.”

But then I forgot that sometimes the DMV requires you to get a smog check. This year, I had to get a smog check. Fack.

Thank God that I have nothing but time on my hands right now and was able to take care of it today.

But then it got me wondering why we have to register our cars every year. Yeah, I understand about the smogging and emission testing and not wanting cars on the road that are killing mother nature more than that gas-guzzling Hummer over there. I get it. But why am I giving the state $200+ every year just to say, “Hey there! Yes, I own this car and yes, I do plan on driving it around this year.”

Well, I mean, I guess if the state didn’t require us to register our vehicles then law enforcement wouldn’t know which cars are actually being checked for pollution.

Let’s just forget this rant.

Moral of the story: Cars are fucking expensive.

Moral Numero Dos: Who said procrastination is a bad thing? As long as you get your shit done in time, who the fuck cares?