It started because my carpool buddy likes Country and would play it from time to time when it was her turn to drive. Naturally, many of the songs grew on me.

Then, a few of my friends invited me to go with them to the Stagecoach Festival this year in Indio.

Camp out in a RV for the weekend, get some sun, drink lots of beer, AND check out some live music? Why the fuck not?

It was pretty awesome. Saturday was Brad Paisley, Reba, Little Big Town, and Darius Rucker. On Sunday we saw Kenny Chesney, Miranda Lambert, Zac Brown Band, Lady Antebellum, and Kid Rock!

Kid Rock is a gatdamned rock star and can put on a fuckin’ show. I definitely want to see him again.

I didn’t take too much footage, but what I did capture from my cell phone is on my Qik page.

I came back to Long Beach a much bigger country music fan. Shit, I’m just a music fan, period.

I’m still working on my country Pandora station . . . but feel free to check out all my stations.

1. green rice krispy treats
2. green hot dogs (I never ate these)
3. getting pinched by the bastards that didn’t see your green

As an adult:

1. green beer
2. green beer
3. go ahead and pinch me (wink wink)
4. green beer

St. Patty’s Day really is a big kid’s holiday.

Because most of us have never participated in a pub crawl, we didn’t know how it would turn out.

If I must say so myself, it turned out pretty fucking great. We went to 7 different bars, 6 of which we have never set foot in prior to that night. Normally, walking into bars dressed in ‘Fanny Dyesor’ would be a nightmare, but when you storm into a bar with a big group of people dressed just like you, it’s pretty great. Also, the regulars wonder what the fuck is going on.

I had my camcorder with me the whole time, trying to capture as much of it as I could. And that’s where all the footage stayed. I’ve been meaning to compile a video of her birthday since then, but I couldn’t find the time to get around to it.

Well, I finally did. Below is the result of all the random shit that got recorded and shows only some of the reasons why my roommate is all sorts of awesome. My apologies ahead of time for the dizziness that might result from watching this video.

Sara, I hope you had as much fun on your birthday as the rest of us did. And I hope that you like this video that I put together for you.

Shit, you better fuckin’ LOVE it.

[somebody suggest a better movie editor, because Windows Movie Maker kinda bites my left ballsack. hard.]

Both of our families fed us well so we didn’t eat again immediately. Instead, we busted out with a deck of cards and proceeded to play Kings. Apparently, we got way too loud because we didn’t even get to finish a couple of rounds before a roommate came out in her nightie asking us to keep it down because she had to work at 6am. Whoops. I’d be irritated if I had to work the day after Thanksgiving, too.

We moved it to the garage, set up some chairs, used a cooler for our table, and continued with the festivities. More people showed up so we had a good game going. We were getting tipsy. Everything started to be hilarious. We were having a good fucking time.

My friend, the owner of the house, had to come out a few more times to tell us to keep it down because her roommates were going to murder her. We’d start out quiet, but then it’d just get out of hand again. We ended up making a rule that we all had to whisper.

Fucking. Difficult.

But we were good. Until …

… my friend got up to get everyone more beers from the fridge in the garage. She grabbed a beer and tossed it to whoever needed it. Holy crap, are you serious? I feared for everyone’s lives because we were all pretty damned inebriated by now. Everytime she tossed a beer, I leaned over, ducked, and covered my head with my hands. Sara and Gus pointed at me laughing because I was protecting my head.

At that very moment, time moved in slowwwwwww motion.

I peeked out a little to say, “Bitch, I don’t want to get hit with a beer!”

I glance to my right and Shakira (I can’t remember her fuckin’ name) begins to bend over in her chair to tie her shoe or something.

I check further behind me and I see my friend tossing her a beer, except she doesn’t realize she’s getting thrown a beer.

Holy fuck. Is this really happening? It’s really going to happen! And I have to stay quiet! How am I supposed to stay quiet?!? This is the funniest thing to happen all night!

And then it happened. The Miller can landed on top of her head.

I lost it. We all lost it. Before the can even hit the floor, we cleared out of the garage. I don’t know how any of us managed to get out of our chairs and duck underneath the half-closen garage door because we were so wasted. But we had to. If we erupted in laughter like we wanted to, the owner of the house would’ve killed us.

I ran down the street a bit to where my car was parked and laughed it all out.

Moments later Shakira emerged outside with us.

Dude, are you ok?

“Yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t even feel it.”

Right.

But thanks for the memories. It brings me joy every time I think about it.

Hmm … maybe I should explain my thought process on this.

My weekend started off with Oktoberfest in Torrance, CA. I’ve never been to an Oktoberfest festival before, so I was pretty excited for it. Parking was a bitch. The line to get in was a bitch. And then we got inside and guess what we saw? More lines! Lines if you wanted to buy the souvenir mugs. Lines to the bathroom. Lines to get beer. This shit is worse than an amusement park.

To the beer! We found our place in the beer line and waited patiently while people-watching. A group of people stood in line behind us. Directly behind me a bigger girl with some massive guhzungas stood. She was loud. She was obnoxious. I’m not even sure she was drunk yet.

For the next 20 minutes I kept getting shuffled around – stepping back to let people through, getting close to my friends so others could get through behind me, and … and getting treated like a motherfuckin’ bra.

Every time the girl behind me moved, her titties made me their bitch and smacked me around a bit. They’d be pushing in my back, or they rested on my shoulders.

I felt like Katt Williams with Shaq.

What the hell? Did she not feel her boobs pushed in somebody else’s back? I had to consciously stand up straight in order not to fall face forward.

I didn’t know what to do. What was I going to say? “Bitch, control your titties!”? If her boobs were knocking me out without her even realizing it, just think of the harm she could do to me if she really wanted to.

Eventually, I moved myself to a different part of the line, away from the monster-boobs.

And that was the highlight of Oktoberfest in Torrance.

A place with my friends and an excuse to drink lots and lots of beer? Sounds like a normal weekend to me, except I don’t have to stand in ridiculous lines. I probably won’t be going to another Oktoberfest unless it’s in Germany.

——-

Last night, I attended the Best In Drag Show charity event held by Aid For Aids at the Orpheum theater in Los Angeles. It was fun and entertaining, but lasted a little too long in my opinion. It was hosted by Kathy Griffin, who was also a judge alongside other celebrities including Charlie Sheen, Molly Shannon, John C. Reilly, Holland Taylor, and Jennifer Coolidge.

Pretty Awesome.

Here, I also saw lots and lots of titties … but most were fake. Aid For Aids is an awesome organization that provides assistance to individuals living with HIV/AIDS who need it. It was definitely an entertaining show and I recommend attending the show next year. Keep it in mind, because every year the tickets get sold out quicker and quicker.

Yes, it definitely was.