Last Thursday at our weekly “Family Nights”, a group of us were talking about our best guy friend’s balls (this is actually a normal topic of conversation).

Sara: “Eww. Scrub your balls!”
Gus: “Bitch, I did! In your shower this morning.”
Sara: “Wait. What? Did you use our loofa?”
Gus: “Yeah. What was I supposed to wash with?“
Raych: “Uhm. We do have washcloths.”
Sara: “Eww! Gustavo! Which one? The black one or the beige one?”
Gus: “Uh … “
Sara: “The black one or the beige one?!?!!”

(Silence. At this point, everybody in attendance was waiting for his answer.)

Gus: “The black one.”

Sara says a victorious “yesssss.”

Gus: “Who’s is that one?”
Sara: “It’s Rachel’s. Hahaha.”
Raych: (sighs) “Fuckin’ Gus. You know what? That’s yours now.”
Gus: “Yesssss!”

I don’t know whether to think Gustavo simply wasn’t thinking when he used my loofa on his balls or if he had it right all along. I mean, he did just came up on a loofa without having to buy it.

Bitch just better not use my toothbrush, or I’ll make it a point to fart on his pillow when he spends the night.