The entire day yesterday I felt like I was dehydrated. I made numerous trips to the water cooler, filling up my cup only to return twenty minutes later. You would have thought that I was nursing a hangover, but I assure you that I didn’t drink the night before. (Hold on, let me think – yesterday was Thursday. Wednesday night, what did I do?)

I would like to retract the prior statement. My error. I had a little bit to drink at TGIFriday’s with my roommates, but only one Hef and a few sips from their Electric Lemonades because they were soo fuckin’ strong they needed help finishing them.

Back to the point: I wasn’t hungover. Just thirsty as fuck for some unknown reason. All that water I consumed equaled a million and one trips to the bathroom to piss it all out.

By the end of the night, it started to hurt. I freaked out. I decided to visit the doctor in the morning.

I visit the doctor and she writes me out a prescription. Apparently I developed some sort of infection . . . or something. I don’t remember exactly. I was too focused on getting to the pharmacy to fill my prescription so I could fix this already. It was all very quick, actually. We talked and talked and I stood up to make my way towards the door. We’re still talking. It seems like it’s the end of her shift and she’s getting ready to leave, too. She removes her lab coat while still holding a conversation with me. Next thing I know, she disrobes completely, revealing the red and black lingerie she was wearing underneath.

Uhm. What do I do? This IS normal, right? She’s doing this because we’re both girls and girls do this sort of thing – change in front of each other, right?

Right?

We’re still holding a conversation. I feel stuck. I’ve been trying to leave, but she just keeps talking. I can’t just run out of the room mid-sentence. It’s rude.

So I stand there, awkwardly. I look at everything else but her. I look behind me to the hallway from the doorway I’m standing in. I move the door closed a little bit because I’m worried someone might see.

Man, I really have no idea what’s going on.

Next thing I know, she’s making sure all the blinds are closed. Then she approaches me, gets way close to me, and shuts the door behind me. And then . . .

And then my damned alarm went off.

It Was All a Dream.

I laughed a bit and then snoozed the shit out of that fucker.