My fellow midget,

The first time we met was years ago. It was your birthday and you were passed out in the bathroom hugging The Porcelain Goddess.

Shortly after, you lifted your head, rubbed your eyes, and cracked open another beer.

It wasn’t even 6pm.

This is why I love you. You’re a trooper, are down for whatever, and can out drink me no matter how much I practice.

Not only can you party like it’s 1999, but you are one of the most loyal and caring people I have ever met.

Amazing memories have been made in the last couple of years; from dressing up as Ooompa Loompas, to late night Rock Band sessions, all the way up until last Sunday when we had a drunken argument over cats and Medicare.

Good Times.

I never thought that you and I would have the friendship that we have today. But the stars aligned and I am blessed to have you as one of my best friends.

I love you, you bad kitty cat. Happy Muthafuckin’ Birthday.

Love,
Raych

It wasn’t me this time that said something gross and dirty.

I love my friends.