Putting yourself first means putting others second. Some people don’t like being in second place. Be prepared. It’s not necessarily the easiest path to take.

Beware of puppies. Just like human babies, they’re not good at controlling their bladder.

Regardless of how big of an emergency it might be, ALWAYS make sure there’s toilet paper first.

Better yet, keep an extra napkin in your pocket at all times for these potentially disastrous situations.

If you fall in the shower, grabbing the shower curtain is not going to help you.

I forgot it was Wednesday because I don’t ever know what day of the week it is anymore. But without further adieu, here’s my weekly advice:

When preparing for a party, don’t forget to buy lots of ice.

And toilet paper.